We took a short walk by the hoodoos this morning. Not my usual 5km but still I was able to enjoy my beloved badlands. A Lyme treatment lesson for me from the hoodoos occurred:
Yesterday, as I watched the leaves die their beautiful, colourful death, my heart stirred my mind. Watching this graceful end motivated me to let some things go. As the leaves alter and blow away, I, too, will change and let the dead things drop and the worries blow away. “There is a harmony in autumn” and I seek harmony this season. The lessoning light and warmth is cutting off water and nutrients to the leaves, the chlorophyll is breaking down. In the next couple of weeks I am going to cut off what is no longer serving me and let it all blow away in the wind. There may be moments where my branches lie barren, but this will make room for the new me. When ready, after I nourish my roots for a while and lie dormant in rest, new leaves will bud.
You may be surprised at the list of things I plan to let go of this next little while. Perhaps more surprised, or amused, that most of these ideas came to me at the Dolly Parton concert last night. My husband laughed when I told him being with Dolly is the closest I have felt to God, but her warmth and kindness and faith was inspiring. And I realized that some of the things I am holding on to actually stem from a love of Dolly. So I am giving up the fear of dying, high heels, workaholic tendencies, and big hair. I understand that it is weird to have high heels in the same list as dying, but here goes…. Continue Reading…
Lemony Snicket could have been scripting my story when he pens the opening of the first book: “There is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle…Most everything that happened to (me) was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. I’m sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.”[i] Like the Baudelaire youngsters, the chronically ill I meet are often intelligent, resourceful, hardworking, and pleasant, but, also extremely unlucky. Despite best efforts and experimenting with every treatment possible, misfortunes happen time and again.
I restart my story over and over; each time, I falter, brush off the dust, and start again. I have been to hell and back so many times I am on the frequent fliers list.[ii] I rewrote Chapter One five times, and finally started my second chapter recently…..