Browsing Tag

coping

Coping

Dig Deeper

October 6, 2017

Sometimes our dreams or plans blow away and scatter. Watching them go, especially before fruition, is how many felt this week when the intense windy snowstorm “attacked” and blew away the beautiful, colourful fall foliage. Not many complained about the cold or the snow; but the wind was upsetting. The reaction and results of the short-lived blast helped me comprehend what I’ve been feeling lately but couldn’t put into words or fully grasp. I’ve had to let go of some big dreams and lofty goals, not of my choosing or because I changed my mind, but because they were forced from my hand. My fist was pried open and I watched these ideals scatter and blow away. Like the storm this week, a blasting wind blew away some beautiful, colourful goals I had for myself. As the summer says goodbye I say farewell to these goals, without anger or suffering, because I realize now there was nothing of the Divine in my plans. I charged ahead. I wanted control. I thought I knew best. The “storm” blew these expectations away, stripped me bare like the trees’ branches. And stripped down, my life became peaceful and joyous and simple. And after all the turmoil of recent years, simple is welcome! My life is full of quiet mystery and love. I only suffer when chasing after things that aren’t meant for me. I am only angered when pushing myself too hard and being unable to keep up with others. But when I let these expectations go and ask for wisdom and leading, it comes. And with it joy and contentment and a new song. I will rest and recover and reflect through the dormant winter period and when my body is ready, turn over a new leaf. I can begin again and so can you. You can start over. Even if it is the tenth or eleventh time. After all, we live in a cycle like the trees. Our leaves bud, bloom, thrive, change, then let go, only for the cycle to repeat. It’s not the end. It’s not sad. It’s really another time to begin. After you grieve a disappointment (either a loss, a relapse, a heartache) reflect, rest, and recover, you can start anew with purpose. And, like me, you may find your purpose is to do less and live more quietly and to go totally against the current trend of “busy” and “crazy.” Go deep down to the roots when making plans and goals, don’t seek ideals externally. We only suffer when we desire, especially desiring things not suited for us at this time.

 

 

Coping

Don’t Wage War On Your Body

August 12, 2017

Today I could wallow about lost muscle mass, flabby babesia weight, and pregnancy symptoms but that is not only useless, it is counterproductive. We must speak life over ourselves and marvel at how wonderous life is. I no longer feel betrayed by my body. In fact, I marvel at it. I honour it. I am grateful my body endured the trials of treatment and the stress of obstacles. I have even apologized to God for blaming my body as if it was poorly made and lacking value. Speak kindly of your body and value it highly. That’s how you will heal and make healthy choices. If you value and honour something you will take care of it.

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Coping

Survival Techniques

April 24, 2017

I spend time in person and online with people who have serious, ongoing illnesses who I greatly admire. From their attitudes and experiences, and my own struggles, a few survival techniques have become evident. Putting on a fight face, becoming a researcher, focusing on one moment at a time, and having a strong faith life seem to be some commonalities. I invite any readers to comment with their coping techniques and means of gaining ground. The more we connect and share, the less isolated and scared we will feel. There is power in information and connecting.

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Coping

When I Get Better…No more waiting for a good day

April 6, 2017

“When I get better….” I used to catch myself starting with this phrase a couple years ago. Too sick to work fulltime, too weak to go to the gym, too much brain fog to visit, too many medical appointments to organize, too many pain attacks to attempt past hobbies, too little money, too little energy…. I let the extremes of the illness and stressors cloud my judgement. I kept thinking the elusive “someday” would come soon and with it 100% energy and wellness. I would not do anything but take pills and inject IVs while saying, “When I get better I am going to hike through Scotland. When I get better I am going to run a 5km race. When I get better I am going to teach fulltime. When I get better I will rejoin the band. When I get better I will get my Masters.”

Caught in the trap of “When I get better” can lead to very unpleasant days. Thankfully, early on in my illness I started watching Joyce Meyer. The morning show title was perfect, and absolutely needed, a message in itself: “Enjoying Everyday Life.” Hmmmmm…. can I enjoy this painful, exhausting, everyday life? Is there joy and creativity and inspiration in the average day? With a change in perspective and attitude my everyday does run over with joy. Yes, I can enjoy everyday living. No more “When I get better…” Instead of dwelling on all that is lost and all I am incapable of I find new insight, new hobbies, and even new appreciation for my surroundings. Here are four steps that led me to abundant living and enjoying my everyday life.

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Coping

War of Attrition

March 16, 2017

If you have NOT been touched by a chronic illness, please take a moment to reflect on all that is going on around you. I have only been “out of the loop” for a few years; my tour of duty is minimal compared to most with this disease, but it did give me a taste of isolation and how inaccessible the world still remains for the disabled. At any moment one of us is next to you in a store, restaurant, or clinic. We are tired, sore, and likely panicking. Perhaps we are standing in a long line-up, reeling from POTs and deciding whether passing out is the best option or to simply go home and try again the next day. Everything feels like an assault yet we appear “normal.”

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