Browsing Tag

starting over

Coping

Dig Deeper

October 6, 2017

Sometimes our dreams or plans blow away and scatter. Watching them go, especially before fruition, is how many felt this week when the intense windy snowstorm “attacked” and blew away the beautiful, colourful fall foliage. Not many complained about the cold or the snow; but the wind was upsetting. The reaction and results of the short-lived blast helped me comprehend what I’ve been feeling lately but couldn’t put into words or fully grasp. I’ve had to let go of some big dreams and lofty goals, not of my choosing or because I changed my mind, but because they were forced from my hand. My fist was pried open and I watched these ideals scatter and blow away. Like the storm this week, a blasting wind blew away some beautiful, colourful goals I had for myself. As the summer says goodbye I say farewell to these goals, without anger or suffering, because I realize now there was nothing of the Divine in my plans. I charged ahead. I wanted control. I thought I knew best. The “storm” blew these expectations away, stripped me bare like the trees’ branches. And stripped down, my life became peaceful and joyous and simple. And after all the turmoil of recent years, simple is welcome! My life is full of quiet mystery and love. I only suffer when chasing after things that aren’t meant for me. I am only angered when pushing myself too hard and being unable to keep up with others. But when I let these expectations go and ask for wisdom and leading, it comes. And with it joy and contentment and a new song. I will rest and recover and reflect through the dormant winter period and when my body is ready, turn over a new leaf. I can begin again and so can you. You can start over. Even if it is the tenth or eleventh time. After all, we live in a cycle like the trees. Our leaves bud, bloom, thrive, change, then let go, only for the cycle to repeat. It’s not the end. It’s not sad. It’s really another time to begin. After you grieve a disappointment (either a loss, a relapse, a heartache) reflect, rest, and recover, you can start anew with purpose. And, like me, you may find your purpose is to do less and live more quietly and to go totally against the current trend of “busy” and “crazy.” Go deep down to the roots when making plans and goals, don’t seek ideals externally. We only suffer when we desire, especially desiring things not suited for us at this time.

 

 

Coping

Don’t Wage War On Your Body

August 12, 2017

Today I could wallow about lost muscle mass, flabby babesia weight, and pregnancy symptoms but that is not only useless, it is counterproductive. We must speak life over ourselves and marvel at how wonderous life is. I no longer feel betrayed by my body. In fact, I marvel at it. I honour it. I am grateful my body endured the trials of treatment and the stress of obstacles. I have even apologized to God for blaming my body as if it was poorly made and lacking value. Speak kindly of your body and value it highly. That’s how you will heal and make healthy choices. If you value and honour something you will take care of it.

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Coping

What I learned at a Dolly Parton concert in Autumn

September 17, 2016

Yesterday, as I watched the leaves die their beautiful, colourful death, my heart stirred my mind. Watching this graceful end motivated me to let some things go. As the leaves alter and blow away, I, too, will change and let the dead things drop and the worries blow away. “There is a harmony in autumn” and I seek harmony this season. The lessoning light and warmth is cutting off water and nutrients to the leaves, the chlorophyll is breaking down. In the next couple of weeks I am going to cut off what is no longer serving me and let it all blow away in the wind. There may be moments where my branches lie barren, but this will make room for the new me. When ready, after I nourish my roots for a while and lie dormant in rest, new leaves will bud.

You may be surprised at the list of things I plan to let go of this next little while. Perhaps more surprised, or amused, that most of these ideas came to me at the Dolly Parton concert last night. My husband laughed when I told him being with Dolly is the closest I have felt to God, but her warmth and kindness and faith was inspiring. And I realized that some of the things I am holding on to actually stem from a love of Dolly. So I am giving up the fear of dying, high heels, workaholic tendencies, and big hair. I understand that it is weird to have high heels in the same list as dying, but here goes…. Continue Reading…